I’m playing my first show outside of NYC !! Thanks to Twitter Fan/Friend, Kathy – I’ve been inspired to challenge myself with a trip outside of the metro zone to try and fill a room in New Haven, Connecticut at The Space - Do you know anyone there? I sure don’t…
At 17 I resumed classical piano and was performing in a concert I’d worked very hard for, preparing a piece out of my depth and stretching to reach it. Unaccustomed to performance and trying to convince someone I was serious, the anticipation was torture and I ached for the end.
A triumphant yet panicked blur of a performance preceded a night of emptiness. Filled with more relief than pride, the smiles on the faces around me echoed by my own - I awoke having having gained nothing: The successful completion of my goal instead robbing me of an organizing purpose, the disappointment of realizing I asked for the wrong toy without knowing what I would’ve preferred, feeling slightly spoiled and shamed by my inability to be satisfied, with anything.
My latest EP only came out this Spring, the run up to ‘The Thawing‘ nothing if not a marathon, concluding just last week with the successful conclusion of 5 NYC and 2 Brooklyn performances in 3 months – nothing for a full time artist on tour but a lot for a D.I.Y. soloist with a day job and no band members to help.
Am I satisfied? Of course not. Disappointed? No. Though still not where I want to be, for a moment I felt momentum: A return of my extensive efforts starting to coalesce. It was a fleeting feeling, one I’ll have to work to regain but it’s enough to keep me going.
My preliminary plans? GET OUT OF TOWN. Aside from not having left the tri-state are in 5 years personally, I’ve never left NYC/Brooklyn professionally – that is, until July 29th, 2012 when I’ll be playing The Space in Hamden, CT. Why Connecticut? Because it’s not NYC.
If I then play shows in Philly, Boston and D.C. before my next record, I’d be a regional artist instead of a local one. Will that satisfy? Probably not but it could make a difference to my confidence. Or it could end in further dissatisfaction – perhaps spawning a national tour?!
If an unquenchable thirst for more is the basis of success I’m well inclined.
And if it’s the torture of life on a treadmill then I’m well prepared.